Guest Post by Tammy Lovins
“All I know is teaching!!!” That phrase plagued my thoughts day after day while my heart kept screaming, “it’s time to get out ”.
From the time I was in second grade, I knew I wanted to be a teacher. I was blessed to have the same elementary teacher two years in a row… I’ll never forget her. She made learning fun. She made me want to learn. And every Friday she would push the desks back, turn on the music and we would square dance. I still have such vivid memories of those years. She is the one who lit the fire in my soul to become a teacher.
I went to college, got my teaching degree and got a job teaching. I loved the kids, loved reading stories, doing art projects, and watching my students grow and thrive. I got to decide how I wanted to teach my students. I was in control of their learning. It was challenging to create a curriculum and decide how to implement it, but I never felt more excited or empowered.
Fast forward many years…teaching changed. I was being told how to teach, what to teach and when to teach it. Every minute of the day was scheduled out for me and I had no say in it. I was even given a colorful graphic showing how my day was to be portioned out. What wasn’t in that graphic was reality. Bathroom breaks, snacks, and the excitement of a 7 year old losing their first tooth, were not part of those delegated minutes. I no longer had any control and I had lost the passion that drove me to this career. I had lost myself.
I knew in my heart that I had to leave teaching. I started imagining a life where I could enjoy a leisurely lunch (instead of inhaling it). Being able to use the bathroom on my schedule rather than during the allocated time slot. I dreamt of not having to prep for a sub at 3 a.m because I was sick. I started to envision new possibilities.
Those dreams of possibilities lasted only a fleeting moment because fear and doubt crept in, followed by lies that masked themselves as truth.
Lie #1: I’m only a teacher. I don’t have any other skills!
I had a Bachelor’s Degree, Master’s Degree and enough credits beyond that to almost have a Doctorate Degree, yet I didn’t believe I had any skills.
This lie came to a sudden halt while running with a friend who is in HR for a very large company. She knew I had been struggling with wanting to leave teaching and asked why I was so hesitant. Upon sharing my “truth” (the lie) she stopped me in my tracks. “Is that what is holding you back?” she said. She then began her list… “you are a problem solver, time manager, multi tasker, effective communicator, data collector, organizer…” Her words revived my spirit and helped me to dispel the lie I was telling myself.
Lie #2: I’m not enough!
I hate to admit it, but I was a class act when it came to self-doubt and negative self-talk. Couple that with the fact that I am a perfectionist and you have a recipe for disaster. I was my own worst enemy.
To combat this lie, I started reading quotes and books that dealt with mindset. The reality was, the only one who didn’t believe in me, was me.
Brain Tracy said, “You are not what you think you are, but what you THINK, you ARE.”
I realized that I was the only one who could change my thoughts and beliefs and thus change the trajectory of my life. I was only limited by the words I was telling myself.
So I started to change my inner dialogue and I began to speak out loud to myself, sometimes even looking at myself in the mirror to say, “I am smart, I am capable, I have so many skills and abilities that I have learned from my years of teaching. In fact, I have so many skills and so many directions that I could take. I am truly fortunate to have gleaned what I have from teaching.”
Lie #3: People will think I’m a fool.
For far too long I had allowed others to define who I was and what I was capable of. It took me years to tell myself and believe that I was a good teacher. I was determined to not be held back by what others might say or think.
Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong.”
I decided that I was the holder of the pen that writes my life story and I was going to write the next chapter. A chapter that no longer included teaching.
My new life chapter is all about starting my own business!! “Oh yes I am!” Some days I have to pinch myself to make sure it’s really happening. I am now building a life that I am in control of. One where I determine the steps to take and I can’t wait.
Self-doubt still lurks in the corners of my mind, but everyday I show up and take a step forward, I know I made the right decision. I am now on this new adventure, taking risks, growing, and even failing, but I have the skills it takes to build a new life on my terms.
Tammy retired from teaching in June of 2020. She now uses her creative skills to help teacherpreneurs create resources that assist teachers and promote student learning. You can find out more on her Facebook page.
